The goal of establishing limits isn’t to control children, but to help them learn to control themselves. Parents, however, often view setting limits and establishing rules and sources of conflict with her children rather than as a valuable tool to minimize conflict and demonstrate parental concern.
Picture yourself driving across a very tall bridge, such as the Golden gate or George Washington Bridge. Now imagine how you would feel if the protective guard rails were suddenly removed. With the railings in place, you feel safer and more comfortable as you proceeded to your destination. You’re able to respond to changes in traffic and other circumstances you. You feel freer to change lanes, speed up or slow down. You proceed to your destination on the other side of the bridge with greater confidence because boundaries are safely in place.
Similarly, children feel more comfortable and confident when the boundaries and guard rails are clearly in place. That confidence enables them to explore new terrain. But when boundary lines are unclear or nonexistent, kids will test limits in order to discover where the lines are. Therefore, clear, consistent boundaries and rules should become an important part of your family’s practices. If you establish boundaries early, children will expect them as a natural part of family life. Family rules reduce the chances for head on collisions and power struggles between you and your children, especially as they approach adolescence, a time when they naturally take more risk in challenge authority.
Allan Shedlin, The Freedom of Limits.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.