Preparing your children to become adults while allowing them to be the open, curious, sensitive kids beneath the mask can be a difficult knot to untangle. Having regular scheduled dinner nights with your children can allow them to have the emotional safety to access his vulnerabilities and express themselves.
5 guidelines can help the family flourish during this time and avoid a family nightmare.
- Timing – one to two times per week, 1 hour to 90 minutes is optimal. At the end of the meal, schedule the next meal on the calendar.
- No electronics or TV: once the rule is made clear, electronics brought to the table are taken away for the rest of the evening.
- Rotation of the moderator and range of topics. Each family member get’s there own turn choosing topics, ranging from personal to general, practical to theoretical.
- Check in’s: 3 minute check-in for each person to ensure there’s no serious, emotional emergency which takes priority, then 30 minutes each about the topic of the evening, no interruptions. After each person is done – open conversation.
- No topic is taboo, and everyone gets heard without judgment, even when they’re wrong about something. Listen first, then respond.
Allowing your children to talk in a safe place about their feelings will allow them to built the emotional intelligence to become strong, successful adults.